Just a little something I've been thinking about...

Not long ago, I had a long talk with my "big brother." He's not really my older brother, but I call him my "big brother," because he is one of my close guy friends and he's taller than me. Anyway, every few months we have very open and honest long talks, which is why we are so close. The topic of our last long convo was relationships and heartbreak and I thought I'd take a moment to share a little bit of that conversation.

Robert Fulghum once wrote, "Love causes pain. Love cures pain. And love is a pain. Love will fill your heart, break your heart and heal the heart that's broken. And it is true that every love story has an unhappy ending, sooner or later- even if the love lasts a lifetime, somebody dies first, leaving somebody behind with the pain of grief." Almost all of us have endured so sort of heartbreak. And if we haven't yet we will. It's part of the circle of life. But knowing that does not make it any easier.

I personally have had my heartbroken, more than once, and it seems to get harder every time. I believe that is because with every relationship I learn more about who I am and what a good relationship is, and I get closer to what it is I really want. I put myself out there a little more than I did before, and when the new boyfriend turns out to be even better than the ones before, I let myself like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone else. When it doesn’t work out it is heartbreaking.

It is heartbreaking for me because I’ve always been a heart-on-my-sleeve-don’t-be-afraid-to-fall-in-love kind of girl who has always believed in love and when it doesn’t work out it’s hard for me to continue to hold on to that hope. It’s hard to let go of the sadness that comes from letting go of someone you care about. It’s hard not to put up a wall protecting myself from going through the pain again. It’s hard not to wonder how I will really trust someone again after having that trust broken over and over again, because every time I let someone in it’s all in the hope that maybe this time it will be different.

To go back to what Mr. Fulghum said, "every love story has an unhappy ending, sooner or later." The way I look at is, we have two choices:

1. We can break down the walls of fear, let people in, and choose love, knowing that at some point our hearts will break, but also giving ourselves the chance to truly experience life to the fullest by putting ourselves out there, choosing to care about someone else and let them care about us…
OR…

2. We can keep up the walls, “protecting” ourselves from heartbreak, choosing not to let people in, and living a life where we choose not to truly be ourselves and put ourselves out there, all because we are afraid…

So, even though it’s hard, I know that I can’t give up hope and that all I can really do is to live in the moment, all for the possibility of love. Because that pain, that heartbreak, it let’s me know I am alive and I know that someday I’ll be able to say, “it was totally worth it.”

What I Know For Sure...

It's a new year. A new decade. Change is in the air! Happy 2010! I closed 2009 with some great memories, some great times with great friends and so much to be thankful for.

As I look forward to 2010 and the new decade, I'd like to reflect on What I Know For Sure as of 1/27/2010....

1. I have so much to be thankful for- great grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, extended family and friends. Their love, support, guidance and care make me who I am.

2. I love my dog- Miss Chloe Girl! She is the perfect little heater when she snuggles up next to me on a cold night, she is the best little thing to come home to because she is so happy to see me, she gives me kisses when I am sad and does what she can to make me happy.

3. God never promised us that life would be easy, he just promised we would not walk alone. I find strength and comfort knowing I am in his hands and I feel his love.

4. I am so thankful to live in America and I am inspired by our President. I have hope and believe in change for the better.

5. I am not perfect, I have plenty of flaws, but I know who I am, what I need and deserve.

6. "I'd rather stand beside you in a storm than be all safe and warm inside by myself."

7. Sometimes the best way to end a bad day is to just take a bubble bath, drink a glass of wine and watch chickflicks.

8. I get a "warm and happy feeling" when I see the sun out on a freezing cold day, when I find a penny and when I spend a few hours with people I love.

9. Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays because red is my favorite color, I love hearts and I like that there is a whole day dedicated to reminding people to take the time to "share the love."

10. I have the best friends in the world and I consider them to be my extended family.

11. Sometimes the best way to celebrate a good day is to come home, rock out and do something fun!

12. I will run a 1/2 Marathon before I turn 30! I have started running and I hope to give it a try this May!

13. 2010 marks the start of great new adventure!

Love,

E

Hello Again!

I can't believe it has been almost two months since my last post!! Here's what I've been up to for the past few months...

I spent October preparing for the very first session of youth classes at the YMCA. In my position I am the director for an elementary before and after school program and an after school at program at the middle school between the two programs we have nearly 165 students and 18 staff. It keeps life exciting, that's for sure!! It is an awesome responsibility and although some days are better than others, I know that we are making a difference in the lives of the children in our programs and for me that's what it's all about. In addition to the school-age programs, I also oversee our youth classes at the branch and for our first session of classes we offered several dance and gymnastics classes, home school gym and a couple preschool age classes. I spent most of October preparing for classes, hiring and training staff and getting everything ready to start on November 2. We are now in the last week of classes for this session and (knock on wood) I feel like everything went pretty well. Exactly 6 months ago today I started my job and I can honestly feel that 6 months in I am starting to feel like I am really getting into the grove of things, which is good. I appreciate all of the support, prayers and happy thoughts from everyone!

As far as how things are in my personal life, I would say pretty good. As we near the end of the year, I stop and reflect. For me, 2009 was all about growing. As all of you know I was an ELC for my sorority and traveled around the country on my own for 10 months, it was an adventure that started in the summer of 2008. Two weeks before I started that adventure a 6 year relationship with my high school boyfriend abruptly ended and I was devastated. But I've always been a believer that everything happens for a reason and that God lets things fall apart so that good things may fall together, and for me that's what happened.

I would say that I've never really been afraid to be myself, I just wasn't always brave enough to stand on my own to feet. I would also say that I've always known who I am and what I want to become, but I got to the point where I made myself believe I was someone else. For me traveling for the fraternity was one of the most liberating and life-changing experiences of my life. It was what I needed to find myself again and really figure out how to stand on my own two feet. The motto of our fraternity is "inspiring women to realize their potential," and as I spent months on the road, going from campus to campus, I met amazing women who inspired me to realize my potential. I also learned that I am strong enough to pick up the pieces, to hold my head up and move forward. It wasn't easy, but with the love and support from family and friends and my faith in God, I did it.

Here I am now, with so many blessings and so much to be thankful for!! (I forgot to do a Thanksgiving Day post, so consider this part my ‘Thanksgiving Day post…) I am 6 months into a professional career working with youth, teens and families and I am doing what I love to do, which is work with children and with people, and I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for my supportive and loving family who make me laugh and who have helped make me who I am today! I am thankful for great friends that, even though we don't get to hang out and even talk as often as I'd like, are there for me through the ups and downs and who also love and support me. We have fun together! I am thankful for a great roommate, her house has become my home here in Lincoln. I am thankful for a great guy who treats me with kindness, care, respect and who makes me laugh and brightens my day. I am thankful for my wonderful little dog, Chloe, who I truly believe was made just for me. She makes me feel safe and has taught me a lot about unconditional love!

I needed to think about this stuff. The past two days have kind of been grey days and it’s so easy to get down in the dumps and start complaining about all the negative stuff that comes up in a day. I needed I stop and think about it, and when I did I realized I really don’t have room to complain because I do have a lot to be thankful for. I know there are others out there who don’t or who’s “grey days” are a lot darker than mine. I needed to take a second to stop and “smell the roses,” so thank you for listening.

I hope that you are all doing well! I promise, I will get better at updating my blog and reading my fellow bloggers blogs! Thank you for your support!

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

Love,

I realized today...

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so you can learn to appreciate them when they’re right.
And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


May we all take the time to see the light that comes out after the darkness.

Have a wonderful week everyone!!

My Little One!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I got a puppy!! On Sunday, September 13, my mom and dad took me with them to look at dogs. I have been thinking about getting a dog for a long time, but I had no idea I'd get a dog so soon! I had been putting it off because I was really busy with the new job and I wanted to make sure it was the right time and that I could be a good pet parent. I also knew that if I ever got a dog, I would want a shitzu because we have Harley, a shitzu as our family dog and my aunt and uncle have a shitzu as well. They are very great dogs, kind, sweet and well behaved.

So on that Sunday, we went just to check out shitzus in the area, price them out, see what was out there and to see if I was very serious about getting a dog. We went to one store and met a very cute, 5 month old male shitzu, who was a little wild man. Very cute and it was hard to say good-bye to him, but on we went. At the next store the shitzu was all the way in the last kennel in the row. She was sitting there with a little brown poodle. Tiny little black and white shitzu sitting next to a little brown poodle, and she looked up at me like as if to say hello. One of the clerks, Rachel came over to assist us in getting the little puppy out and into the little play area so we could check her out and play with her. The little puppy didn't really want to play, she just wanted to cuddle in my arms. I sat on the floor and held her in my lap, close my stomach and chest, so her little check was on mine and she was looking into my eyes. I sat with her for a long time, scratching behind her ears, petting her head and cuddling her, and she sat there, just looking into my eyes, resting her little head on my shoulder. I instantly felt a bond. My dad looked at me while I held her and said, "Em, this is your dog. She is such a little lady and she's already bonding with you." My mom agreed. They decided that since my birthday was about a week away, they would get her for me as a birthday gift! And a gift she is!!

Chloe Krysl was 10 weeks old and 4 pounds on the day I brought her home. She is now 12 weeks old and almost 5 pounds. So far she's been almost perfect. Because she as used to being in a kennel at the pet store, she never spent a night crying in her kennel when I brough her home. She did wake me up at about 4:00 AM each night for the first week, but just so I could take her outside, where she would pee and poop. Then she's back inside and sleeps the night away. I go to work every morning and then come home at lunch to let her out in play. She loves to play and meet new people, she loves to cuddle and she is the perfect little companion. She follows me around the house, she looks out for me and she loves to give little kisses. Call me crazy, cheesy, whatevery, but I truly believe that God made little Chloe just for me. I couldn't handle a crazy or high mainence dog. But I wanted a dog to love and care for, a dog that I could be responsible for and a dog that would love me in return, and that's just what I got.

So far Chloe has met most of the family and many of my friends. She loves to play with our family dog, Harley and she loves to chew on her favorite rope bone. She keeps me on the move, she keeps me laughing, and I feel so happy to be in her life and that she is in mine.

I am so thankful to my parents for one of the best birthday gifts. I am so thankful to God for blessing me with Miss Chloe.

My Crazy Life!

It has been WAY too long since my last post!! I am so sorry everyone!! The new YMCA I work at is finally opening this weekend and my life has been totally crazy getting ready for this exciting adventure!!!

I am feeling a mix of emotions- excited, stressed, nervous, happy! I cannot believe it is almost September 1! When I started this job on June 15, 2009, September 1 seemed so far away, but tomorrow morning I will get up at 6:30 AM to get ready, go to work and start moving into the YMCA! We will be moving into our offices and Child Watch.

School has started and both of my school-age child care programs have started at the elementary and middle schools. We have 94 kids in our middle school after school program and 73 in our elementary school before and after school program- they are growing by the day! It's been an adjustment- we have a great deal of children in our programs with special needs and behavior disorders who are adjusting to a new school, new program and new staff so we are learning a lot!

My staff is amazing and I am so proud of them and how hard they have been working. I am also very lucky to have amazing support around me. Kim has been my life line and sanity on most days. Dana, Jonathan and Gail, my fellow directors, have been awesome and my boss JP, super supportive! The principals and school staff have been great! Everyone has been reaching out to help out in anyway they can and I am so thankful for that.

Life may be crazy right now but it is totally worth it when I hear kids laughing in our programs and when I see them growing and having fun! It is totally worth it to be a part of such an exciting and special project- the school and the YMCA coming together and a new YMCA coming to an area of the community that is very welcoming and supportive. I would like to thank God for blessing me with such a great opportunity and all of those who have been praying for me, loving and supporting me. I AM SO THANKFUL!

I need to get to bed for the night. Sleep well everyone!! THANKS AGAIN!

Love,

Emmalie

All Grown Up

Well it's official, I am all grown up! I have been working as the Fallbrook YMCA Youth, Teen & Family Director for about a month now. It has been awesome! I am happy to say I love my job, I enjoy the people I work with and I am having a blast getting everything ready for the fall!

I have also officially moved to Lincoln. I am living with a friend Melissa in her house. She is the Aquatics Director at the Cooper Branch and we get along great. The house also has a lot of space, so it works out nice. In the collage below you can see my spaces in the house. It's such a cute house! I have my own living room, ladybug bathroom, bedroom, craft/office room and a guest room, and Melissa and I share the living room and the laundry room. I am also enjoying my new car this summer! I bought my beautiful, red Nissan Sentra in March and I love it!

Other than that, I am just enjoying the summer! We went on a family camping trip to Honey Creek State Park, 5 hours away in Iowa and we had a blast!! This weekend we are taking another family trip to Okoboji, and I can't wait! It has been a summer full of great memories- hot tubbing with best girls, singing at the church festival, playing at the park with Mason and Alyssa, and going out with friends!