Robert Fulghum once wrote, "Love causes pain. Love cures pain. And love is a pain. Love will fill your heart, break your heart and heal the heart that's broken. And it is true that every love story has an unhappy ending, sooner or later- even if the love lasts a lifetime, somebody dies first, leaving somebody behind with the pain of grief." Almost all of us have endured so sort of heartbreak. And if we haven't yet we will. It's part of the circle of life. But knowing that does not make it any easier.
I personally have had my heartbroken, more than once, and it seems to get harder every time. I believe that is because with every relationship I learn more about who I am and what a good relationship is, and I get closer to what it is I really want. I put myself out there a little more than I did before, and when the new boyfriend turns out to be even better than the ones before, I let myself like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone else. When it doesn’t work out it is heartbreaking.
It is heartbreaking for me because I’ve always been a heart-on-my-sleeve-don’t-be-afraid-to-fall-in-love kind of girl who has always believed in love and when it doesn’t work out it’s hard for me to continue to hold on to that hope. It’s hard to let go of the sadness that comes from letting go of someone you care about. It’s hard not to put up a wall protecting myself from going through the pain again. It’s hard not to wonder how I will really trust someone again after having that trust broken over and over again, because every time I let someone in it’s all in the hope that maybe this time it will be different.
To go back to what Mr. Fulghum said, "every love story has an unhappy ending, sooner or later." The way I look at is, we have two choices:
1. We can break down the walls of fear, let people in, and choose love, knowing that at some point our hearts will break, but also giving ourselves the chance to truly experience life to the fullest by putting ourselves out there, choosing to care about someone else and let them care about us…
OR…
2. We can keep up the walls, “protecting” ourselves from heartbreak, choosing not to let people in, and living a life where we choose not to truly be ourselves and put ourselves out there, all because we are afraid…
So, even though it’s hard, I know that I can’t give up hope and that all I can really do is to live in the moment, all for the possibility of love. Because that pain, that heartbreak, it let’s me know I am alive and I know that someday I’ll be able to say, “it was totally worth it.”
